My Life Is A Taylor Swift Song

So, who else hates Monday mornings? I do, too. 

But I went to school in a decent mood this morning (for once). All was well. The lunch lady selling breakfast wasn’t out of cinnamon rolls and the line wasn’t too long. Nothing went wrong. Yet.

I was sitting at the usual breakfast table when I saw Jordan’s bus pull up outside the school. I grinned, all of my insides buzzing with excitement. I felt as if I hadn’t seen him in weeks. He came in. He sat down. He left an empty seat between us. Why? I chose not to worry about it. It's just a seat. A chair. A piece of plastic and metal. Who cares?

I asked him how his weekend was. Just to be polite. Just to strike up conversation, because who doesn't like conversing with the person they're dying to go out with? He said it was "fucking awesome" because he went to a concert and "went to see his girlfriend." What?

"I feel fucking fantastic!"

That makes one of us.

Why had he never mentioned this "girlfriend" before? Why hadn't I at least seen anything on his Facebook, which I stalk like a...stalker? I had actually seen him post Facebook statuses bitching about not having a girlfriend, like the desperate loser he was. But I happen to be in serious like with that desperate loser.

And that desperate loser is in serious like with someone else.

Everything that could possibly go wrong just did.

Last week, I was playing "Teardrops On My Guitar" by Taylor Swift, and something occurred to me. It was so easy to relate to, except for the girlfriend that ruins Taylor's chances with her friend, Drew.

So, of course, something had to be done about that little detail. So, here I am. My life has transformed into a sad Taylor Swift song. How do you think I feel about that?

And do you want to hear the funniest part? Oh, this is a knee-slapper. This morning, I talked to Ginny. We had a conversation. Like friends. Or at least like acquaintances. It wasn’t her all along, was it? Me and my stupid assumptions.

My dad always says that when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of "u" and "mption."

And I really have made an ass out of myself.

I wish my life were like a love song. Like, a real love song. Not a weepy Taylor Swift song.

I wish my life weren’t so predictable.