Today's song of the day is "Blame It On The Rain" by He Is We. It's a sad, hopeful song about being in love with someone who's in love with someone else.
Now, about my title of this post, today was actually rather sunny, warm, and breezy. But in my mind, I can hear the raindrops hitting the pavements, the thunder echoing through the sky. My mind is a storm right now.
Everyone has gotten upset over something stupid. But, not everyone gets depressed over something stupid. Sadly, I do get depressed over the stupidest things. The stupid thing?
Light.
Last night, I slept at a friend's house. During the dead hours of the night, I was awake, listening to music, and the only thing I could think about was Light. I was in dreamer mode. The only things that passed through this head of mine was daydreams. So many perfect daydreams. Happy endings. But eventually, the thing I run from, reality, caught up with me.
Light does not know me. I barely know Light. Light is so far away from me. So far, even if I stood right in front of him. Because even then, he would never see me. Why? Why does he have to be so blind? Why can't life be a fairytale? But, then again, why am I so blind? I can't see that there is nothing that could possibly come out of my infatuation. I still hold on to the little shred of hope in his smile. But why? Because I'm a dreamer. That's why. What is he to me? A mystery, beautiful, somehow perfect for me. But why? What makes me believe that a boy I barely know, who barely knows me can be perfect for me? What am I to him? My guess would be nothing. I'm so sick of all of this! I'm sick of not meaning anything to him! I'm so sick of being a hopeless romantic, just begging someone to make her ridiculous dreams come true! Why does it have to be like this?
Why is it that his smile can set me off into neverending daydreams, but reality has to creep up behind me like a gray cloud and dump all this rain on me?
I could really use some blue paint right now....
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