The "What If" Post

Welcome to the “what if” post. This is a period of hopeless hope, frantic thoughts, and confusion, easily changed by just a few words.

I need to tell Jordan how I feel. Everyone thinks I should. Should I? How will he react? What if it ruins our friendship, the only thing that we have? What if he shatters my heart into a million pieces and I’ll be left alone to pick up the pieces myself? What if he feels the same way? What if telling him will be the best decision I’ve ever made? What if it’s the worst? What if?

There are so many possible endings to the story, but to find out, I have to make it happen. Should I get to know him better? How well do I know him anyway? How much of him am I a stranger to?

I like him a lot, that’s for sure. The way I feel about him is so different from anything I have ever felt for a guy before. It’s not that whole “I don’t know him, but he’s cute. What would it be like if I went out with him? Is he single? Let’s stalk his life for ten months” thing. It’s more of a “Since the day that I first saw him, I knew I was hooked on him. But, I don’t watch him from a distance, praying for him to notice me. I’m his friend. We talk every day. He’s really weird and awkward. He makes me laugh. He’s not the hottest guy in the world, but I want him more than any of the perfect guys I’ve crushed on in the past, because he’s adorable, and I’m led to believe that he’s perfect for me.”

Then, there’s the most important question. Does he like me, too? This may sound a little unbelievable, but there is a possibility. He talks to me every day. We eat breakfast together. We wave at each other in the hallways. He throws snowballs at me.

There’s only one way to find out.

Should I do it?

I’ll keep you updated. Hopefully, I’ll have good news. Cross your fingers, pray for me, and wish me lots of luck. I’m off to do the unthinkable.