Burnt Out And Watching You Glow

Today's song of the day is "A Mess It Grows" by He Is We. It's a beautiful song. :) Well, I'm actually listening to a lot of He Is We lately. Their music is pretty inspiring, I must say. Well, speaking of inspiration, I wanted to discuss my title. Those lines are from a song that I wrote yesterday. The song is called "Dizzy." I wrote it about Light, of course. It's about how much he's hurting me, and yet I can't seem to let him go. I wrote it in a strange, hyper, fit of angry rage. I hate feeling so upset that my parents start worrying about me, but at least a get some songs out of it.

I know that I need to let Light go. He is in love with someone else, and I should just leave his perfect little life alone, even though I'd love to just change his mind. Or just take that perfect life and completely destroy it, making him as upset as he makes me. But how would I do that? How could I do that? Why did I even say that...? Oh, well. I say a lot of things.

Yesterday, I came home from a camping trip that I had been on for the weekend, and my parents told me that a guy who had graduated in 2010 from my school took his own life. I had seen him around school and things like that, but I never actually knew him. Yet, I found myself kind of devastated when I heard about it. I always hear it said that you shouldn't take life too seriously, but you should. You should take life seriously, because one day you'll be gone. You should take life seriously, and you should take death seriously. This world is a messed up place to live in, but you shouldn't have to make yourself die to escape from it. I wish that I could've stopped him and told him to live his life to the fullest, even if something was bringing him down. But I didn't know him. I couldn't have done that. It's so sad. It makes me upset every time i think about it.

I don't understand why someone would commit suicide anyway. I mean, I, for one, am terrified to die. What if I go to Hell? What if I don't go anywhere? It frightens me. A lot. I don't want to think about it. As serious as this subject is, I think I need to change it.

I need to change it. What should I change it to? Oh! I remember what I wanted to talk about.

Blue eyes. Baby blue eyes. It's ridiculous how sometimes, you can't stop thinking about someone that you've never met, that you've only seen. Like a checkout guy at Redner's. With big, round, baby blue eyes.

Now, isn't that ridiculous?

Simply ridiculous, but a lovely distraction.

"With everything falling down around me, I'd like to believe in all the possibilities."

I must go. Farewell. :]